


You'd Do Anything For A Pretty Face

by thisislegit



Category: Lupin III
Genre: Comedy, Dress Up, Multi, OOC probably thats up to you, Seduction, im covering my own ass you can read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:15:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22165480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisislegit/pseuds/thisislegit
Summary: Another heist. Another near death experience. Another success.Jigen's glad to have gotten the diamond with a mostly clean getaway. All they had to do now was sell it and- wait what the hell did he mean he was giving it to Fujiko?
Relationships: Ishikawa Goemon XIII/Jigen Daisuke/Arsène Lupin III/Mine Fujiko
Comments: 6
Kudos: 64





	You'd Do Anything For A Pretty Face

**Author's Note:**

> un-beta'd

“Now Jigen, I know you’re mad,” Lupin started.

They were holed up in Kobe. The hotel was nice enough for being ass deep in a city in the mountains. A lovely view of said mountains overshadowed the scenic view they were promised and reached into the sky. Orange and red tree lines sat in rows and bunches trying to touch the clouds but remained obscured by the mist and fog. Jigen let his cigarette hang from his lips as he held the curtain partially open. Getting a hotel in the mountains during the fall season was hell due to tourists inflating the prices, but Lupin pulled through. It could’ve been romantic. Except it wasn’t since Fujiko was on her way to take the pink tinted diamond the three just risked their lives to get.

“You didn’t tell us you were giving it to her. We already agreed to split the profit three ways,” Jigen closed the curtains, the rings clattering against the pole.

Goemon sat on the couch cleaning his sword as he’d decided to stay out of this conversation.

Lupin had a goofy look on his face. “Yeah, but she called with the cutest voice and asked what we were doing, and well~.”

“Well nothing.”

“Jigen dear.”

“Don’t you call me that. It’s not gonna work when you’ve pissed me off,” He pointed an accusatory finger at Lupin. “My leg almost got chopped off for that damn thing!”

There was an ugly tear in his pants right at his thigh from a buzzsaw. The person who owned the diamond, Dr. Manwell, did everything in his power to protect the diamond. Unfortunately, that included hiring a trap maker with a sadistic streak from the Netherlands.

“I can still pay you your shares and give the diamond to Fujiko. You know that.”

“That’s not the point, Lupin. It’s the principle. You’re ready to give up anything as long as the person attached to the request is hot enough. It’s more trouble than it’s worth.”

“I do not do that.” Lupin turned to look at Goemon, “Goemon, do I do that?”

“I refuse to participate in this quarrel.”

“See, Goemon agrees that I don’t do that.”

Jigen walked right up to Lupin’s armchair, his hat tilted down, “Lupin. Give me the diamond, so I can sell it to the person who’s waiting like we agreed.”

“Jigen. I can’t do that. Fujiko will be here in a couple hours to get it.”

“You either give me that diamond, and we split it three ways like we agreed, or I prove my point, you give me that diamond, and I split it between me and Goemon. What’s it gonna be?”

“How are you going to prove your point when I know what you want? I can just say no easier. You two can wait until I get to one of my stashes, and I promise I’ll- woah!” Lupin was fumbling for his gun when he saw Jigen reach behind his back.

Instead of aiming for him, Jigen set the gun on the table beside the armchair. He then placed his hat over it.

Lupin wondered how stupid he looked with his gun barely gripped in his hand as he watched Jigen go into their shared bedroom. “What was that about?”

Goemon resolutely said nothing. Lupin huffed and put his gun away. He wasn’t going to take this. He was going to read a book while Jigen did whatever he did, because partner or not, he wasn’t going to win. The diamond was going to Fujiko in two hours and that was final. She was a punctual lady after all.

Jigen had come out of the room an hour later after a shower and a dozen of other things. He saw Lupin’s profile still in the armchair with his glasses on while glaring at a page he was marking with a highlighter. Goemon had moved from one couch to another to watch TV. An old horror movie played quietly on the screen. He didn’t bother closing the door behind him as he walked around to the back of Lupin’s armchair. Being a hitman at one point forced him to silence his footsteps in any footwear, even the slightly heeled knee-high boots he wore now.

Reaching down, he slipped Lupin’s glasses from the bridge of his nose to the top of his head as he lowered his voice, “Lupin.”

Lupin closed his book, annoyed, and looked up to the voice only to freeze with both articles dropping to the floor with a thunk. “Ji-ji-ji-ji-ji-ji-ji-.”

Jigen walked around to the front of the armchair and leaned forward to place one hand on the top of it. At first, he felt ridiculous putting on the ensemble again after so many years. Blue shirt with puffy see through sleeves, a v-collar that cut too low for his own comfort, and tight dark gray pants tucked into his boots. He’d stopped wearing shit like this because people assumed he was a callboy before he was a hired hitman, but seeing the blush that spread over Lupin’s face as he struggled to say his name made him realize why.

He placed his free hand on Lupin’s chest and curled his fingers under where the red lapels of his jacket sat to pull out a cigarette, “Light this for me?”

“Ye~s,” Lupin was all heart eyes as he pulled out a lighter and did just that.

Jigen was about to place it between his lips, but paused, “Do you want to share?”

Lupin nodded very eagerly.

He inhaled the cigarette smoke, his hand moving from the top of the chair, down the worn leather, over the frayed edges of Lupin’s shirt collar, for his palm to curve along the bottom of a stubbly jawline. Bending down, he exhaled the smoke into Lupin’s open mouth. Lupin’s eyes were half-lidded as he took the offering holding it before breathing it out from his mouth and nostrils. He didn’t want to be anywhere else in that moment.

“Wasn’t that nice?” Jigen kept his voice low, moving the cigarette out of the way.

Lupin nodded again dumbstruck.

“Do you like sharing with me, Lupin?”

“Y-yes, Jigen-chan~.”

“Then, do you want to share that diamond with me?”

It was if a spell had broken when Lupin snapped back to his senses, “No! This isn’t going to work!”

Jigen, not one to be deterred, didn’t lose his face as he put the cigarette out in the ashtray behind his hat. Lupin glared at him, his fingers digging into one arm of the chair, but Jigen knew when he had a winning hand, and he’d learned more than once to take what he had and run before the chips got too high. He didn’t scowl, he didn’t glare, his lips stayed a straight line as he took the free arm of the chair to sit down on.

“Lupin,” Jigen placed both of his hands on Lupin’s shoulders. He slowly brought the thief closer, one hand sliding along his shoulder blades to glide up the line of his neck, his other hand slipping down to grab the lapel of his jacket. “You’re being mean.”

“Y-yeah, well, y-y-you’re being ooooohhhh,” Lupin shuddered when Jigen started rubbing his fingers along his neck in the way he knew he loved. “Ji-gen.”

His hair was curled so his bangs obscured one of his eyes, which meant when he let their foreheads touch, his visible eye was focused intently on Lupin’s, “I’m being nice, right? Just for you.”

“J-just for me?”

“Mmmhm.”

The dumbstruck look returned to Lupin’s face, a dopey smile gracing his lips as his fingers trembled in the air, curling and bending with the desire for something to grab.

“Don’t you want to be nice to me?”

“Yes, yes, I want to be _very_ nice to you, Jigen-cha~n.”

His lips hovered above Lupin’s, his warm breath ghosting over his lips, “I think you’re very nice to me, Lupin.”

“Aahh, that makes me so happy,” Lupin was puckering his lips, but Jigen stayed just out of reach.

“Can you guess what makes me happy, Lupin?”

“What?”

“Diamonds.”

Lupin stiffened up again, “The diamond is for Fuijko!”

He was being a persistent bastard. Fine. Jigen already didn’t enjoy having to take any pages out of Fujiko’s book, but he was in it for the long haul, and the look on her face after he sold it would be worth it. Besides, he was nice enough not to knock Lupin out before taking what he wanted. He had a point to prove, and he was going to prove it. Which meant Lupin had to give him the diamond of his own will. His hands gently pressed Lupin back into the armchair. He then swung a leg over, and Lupin honed in on it like a moth to a flame. Next came the other leg, and Lupin’s nostrils flared. He made a show of sliding down from the arm of the chair into Lupin’s lap, his ass resting on top of a skinny thigh. If he didn’t know any better, he could’ve sworn he saw steam coming out of Lupins’ ears. Good.

“Are you more comfortable now, Lupin?”

“This isn’t going to work. It’s not going to-.”

Jigen kissed his cheek and the dumbstruck look was back with a vengeance. His tongue almost lolled out of his mouth. Jigen’s legs were too long to bend in the chair, so they were left to hang over the edge of the chairs arm, while Lupin’s hands dove for his hips. In the meantime, Jigen worked his hand into Lupin’s short hair, lightly scratching his nails over his scalp.

“Lupin.”

“Hmmmm?”

“Do you like me?” Jigen stuck his finger under the knot of Lupin’s tie and began to loosen the fabric.

“Yeees.”

“I like you too.” Lupin beamed at that, and Jigen tugged him closer by his tie, “Lupin, I have a secret, but I don’t know if I should tell you.”

“You can tell me anything, Jigen-chan,” Lupin’s fingers danced over his hips, as he nearly melted into his seat.

“Really? I can trust you?”

“Yes, yes, yes.”

Jigen used the hand in his hair to pull Lupin’s face into his neck where his cologne was strongest. He shifted where he sat and felt something poke his ass that was not Lupin’s gun. He was trying to seduce him, not blue ball him, but there was nothing he could do now. Lupin melted against him, his fingers still dancing over the gray fabric that gripped such lovely hips.

He whispered into the thief’s ear, “I love pink.”

“Me too, Jigen-chan.”

“But, is that diamond really pink?” Jigen tugged Lupin’s head back by his hair so they could make eye contact.

“Of course, take a look,” Lupin wiped the diamond from his pocket holding it up Jigen.

The diamond was the size of a bullet with an old mine cut. They’d double checked to see if it was fake in the getaway car, and both Lupin’s eyeglass and Goemon’s sword confirmed its authenticity. He had to move slowly in order for this to work.

He brought both hands into Lupin’s hair and rubbed behind his ears with his thumbs, “It’s pretty, ain’t it?”

“Like youuuu,” Lupin swooned, his eyes closing at the attention.

Jigen resisted the urge to roll his eyes, and let one hand drape over Lupin’s bicep, the other still stroking behind the thief’s ear. His fingers grazed along the sleeve of the red jacket, then up his forearm until his palm covered the back of Lupin’s fuzzy hand. “Do you want to see something?”

“Uh huh.”

Jigen moved Lupin’s hand to press against his chest, the diamond cool against his skin, and Lupin’s fingers grazing along the edge of his shirt collar. Applying pressure until Lupin’s hand was flat against his chest with the diamond trapped between two long fingers, Jigen moved his palm in small circles edging further and further along the inside of his shirt. Lupin was breathing through his nostrils heavier and heavier the further his fingers got his legs vibrating under Jigen from anticipation. Before he could get his fingers where he wanted, Jigen removed his hand, diamond and all to lift the gem up to his lips and press a kiss against it.

“Lupin.”

“Hm?!” Lupin’s fingers were still against Jigen’s lips with the diamond between them.

“Do you want to see more?”

“Mmhm!”

“Then, can I have it?”

“MMHM.”

Jigen took the diamond without resistance and pocketed it. “I’ll be right back.” He made sure to slowly move out of Lupin’s lap. In the next moment, he swiped his hat with his gun inside and walked towards the door. At first glance, he thought Goemon was meditating instead of watching TV, but the full face to chest blush he was sporting told Jigen he’d been watching the whole show. He then put on his coat and left the building. He had a diamond to sell.

Twenty minutes passed before Lupin snapped out of it, and another twenty went by when he realized Jigen wasn’t coming back anytime soon. “THAT SON OF A BITCH STOLE MY DIAMOND.”

“No. You gave it to him,” Goemon corrected.

“He seduced me.”

“Didn’t he tell you that as long as someone was hot enough you would fulfill their request?”

Lupin bolted for the door, “He couldn’t have gotten that far, right?”

When he opened it to take a step out he saw the last person he wanted to see on the other end of the hall.

“Lupin!” Fujiko waved at him with a smile on her face.

Lupin shouted and ran back inside to slam the door closed. Fuck. “Goemon, you need to help me get it back.”

“I cannot.”

“Why? Is it some samurai bullshit about honoring agreements?”

“No. It is simply a matter of 50% sounding much nicer than 33%.”

“TRAITOR.”

Knuckles rapped against the door behind his back, and Fujiko said, “Lupin? Why did you run from me? What’s wrong?”

“She’s gonna kill me.”

“That is not true. I’m sure Fujiko has weighed the pros and cons of keeping you alive, and that there are at least several pros that outnumber the cons.”

“Not helping.” Lupin locked the door and pulled out his phone. Calling was his only option. He’d offer Jigen anything to get that diamond back. He couldn’t look like an idiot in front of Fujiko. A liar was one thing. An idiot was another. The phone rang once. Twice. Three times. Voicemail. “DAMN IT.”

Jigen returned close to dinner time in a very nice looking ankle length coat, and even nicer looking sunglasses perched on his nose.

“Welcome back. I have been listening to Fujiko go through the five stages of grief after your absence,” Goemon greeted him from the couch.

From his positioning, Jigen thought he never left the spot. It wouldn't have been the first time, and he didn't mind rubbing the feeling back into the swordsman's legs afterwards, but the teapot and cup full of steaming water told him otherwise. “What stage is she on now?”

A loud crash came from the other room.

“Each time she gets to depression, Lupin opens his mouth and returns her to the anger stage.”

“Sounds about right. By the way, your share is in your account.”

“Thank you.”

Fujiko came stomping out of the other room, her heels driving holes into the carpet as she held a hand out towards Jigen, “Give me my 180 million diamond!”

“ _My_ 180 million diamond was sold several hours ago, and is currently on a plane to somewhere in India.” Jigen couldn’t keep the shit-eating grin off his face if he tried.

Fujiko gasped, “What? When! Nevermind, move!”

He watched her snatch her coat from one of the chairs as she darted out of the hotel room.

Lupin came out from the other room with a red handprint on his cheek, a glare on his face, and his arms crossed. “Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

“Other than the fact that I was right?”

Lupin narrowed his eyes at him. “Yes.”

“Yeah I do.” Jigen tipped his hat back, “I look good as hell in Saint Laurent coats.”


End file.
